Sunday, September 2, 2007

Emotional

For the ones who come and read with me...I have not been too regular at posting lately. Sorry.

I have lots going on in this head and heart of mine. I will try to put it in words.

I talk to Julia almost everyday during the week. At least while she is driving into work. It is enough to keep up with how she is doing and a little of what is going on in her new "married" life. But I miss seeing her. She has been in and out of our home for several years now...with the year in Germany...and then the year traveling with Wings of Morning. But it is different now... it is permanent. I am so happy for her and Ronnie. But I still miss her. She is coming home in two weeks and I can hardly wait.

That leads to the next thought...

I talk to Jonathan several times each week. Probably more while he is a Camp Shelby than I did when he was here. But when he was here...I saw him every week on Sunday. At church...then lunch at the Mexican Restaurant...and then with the group on Sunday nights here at our house. Then sometimes he would come by here on his way to work during the week. I would get up early and fix him a lunch and throw in a good breakfast and vitamins (always in MOM mode). Regardless, I miss him like crazy. He is coming home in two weeks and I can hardly wait.

But that leads to the next thought...

It will be soooooooo good to have the whole family together. We are making plans. When will we go out to eat? When will we have family and friends come to the house? Will we get to watch the ballgame together? Ronnie will be here with Julia for the weekend. Julia is staying the whole week. Jen and Andy and Aubrey will be here with us. MaMaw, MawMaw and PawPaw will be here part of the time. Brantley will be at Jonathan's side - wherever he is :) We will all be savoring each moment that we can squeeze into Jonathan's schedule.

So the next thought....

We all know what is coming. When he leaves this time - he is going to war. He is our soldier. He is defending our freedoms. He told me he is going to war so that maybe one day his son will not have to...

My faith is strong. He is in the Lord's hands. Scripture says in Psalms 91:11-12 "For He will give His angels charge concerning you, To guard you in all your ways. They will bear you up in their hands, That you do not strike your foot against a stone. " I am claiming that one. He will have angels protecting him. Here is another one: Isaiah 52:12b "For the LORD will go before you, And the God of Israel will be your rear guard. " That is good. The Lord will be before him. And the God of Israel will be behind him. That is sweet protection.

But I will miss him. I know that a year goes by fast. But not from this side of it.

And Julia will go back to Virginia - it will be Nov. or Dec. before I see her again. I will miss her. Thank the Lord for phones...but they just cannot replace a good hug - a sweet smile - a face to face talk. But I will take what I can get and be thankful for it.

I am so blessed with my family. Blessed beyond measure.



I heard someone say, the extent of joy/love that one brings to you is the extent of the pain of missing them. As much as the heart loves....is how much it hurts when they are gone. Bitter Sweet. That is probably the best way to describe it all right now. Sweet times together that I can hardly wait for. Then bitter hurt as he leaves for war and as even as she goes back to Virginia. Not at all the same....certainly not on the same level...but each with its own degree of pain. Bitter Sweet.

10 comments:

JustJessie said...

Aw, Miss DeeDee, I'm about to cry! Know that you have been and will be in my prayers. And aren't you proud that you reared children who are able to fight for what they believe in and who aren't afraid to step out on their own? It's what every parent hopes for, and you achieved it. *hugs*

DeeDee said...

Thanks Jessica - You are a treasure!

candace said...

dd, I am right there with you girl. I am praying everyday for Jonathan's safety and Brantley's emotional state and yours as well. All the extra emotions that are being carried by the loved ones, it almost seems as though we too are battling in a war of feelings and hurt. I have to hang on to the promise God gives us, that we will never have more than we can bear. I have a quote taped to my computer that says "IF GOD BRINGS YOU TO IT, THEN HE WILL BRING YOU THROUGH IT".
On the other hand, how proud I am that Jonathan is dedicated himself to protect us and our country. How blessed my family is to have him in our lives.
love ya
candace

DeeDee said...

Thanks Candace for the prayers, love and support!

- and we feel the same way about Brantley ! We are sooooo blessed!

We will all be here for each other through the journey. :)

Anonymous said...

you made me cry at work!!! this is a lot tougher than i ever thought it was going to be for sure!!! and when i first moved here, i thought it would be the same as all the other trips, but u r right... its different... cuz its more permanent... i love being a wife, but i miss my family more than ever!!!! - jwm

Vicki said...

DeeDee, It doesn't matter how intermittent your postings are just the fact that you are willing to share with us from your heart makes me treasure each posting. Know this, that your entire family, including Brantley and the Robersons are in our prayers. We feel your hurt and fears because we love your family so much. I have never had the bond of a son but I do know about the bonds of mothers and daughters so I know how you must miss Julia. When Jessica married she gave me a gift of nice wind chimes. She wrote me the sweetest note about how every time the wind would make the chimes ring that would be my reminder that she was thinking of me and loving me. I must say that I still get teary when I hear the chimes ring even though Jessica is just a few miles away and she has been married for 6 years. We go through so many changes in our lives but it is wonderful to know that God never changes! I love that song "Faithful God" where it says that You never change, you stay the same. It just brings comfort to me to know that God is faithful and that He is UNCHANGING in this crazy world where we temporarily live. I love you DeeDee for your willingness to share. PRAYING FOR YOU ALL!! Vicki

DeeDee said...

I love you my Julia - only a few more days until you are home - I can hardly wait! :)

DeeDee said...

Thanks Vicki - we feel the love and prayers...

I hope to always be transparent - that is a goal of mine. We are all on this journey together to be more like Christ each day - and we really do need each other - Thank you for the love and friendship :)

Anonymous said...

You have such a gift to share what's on your heart in such a beautiful way. As always, your entire family is in our thoughts & prayers, espcially now that you all have SO much going on. I know you are counting down the hours until everyone is home. Enjoy your time together. Love, Lara

DeeDee said...

Thanks Lara,
We feel the love and prayers!
~dd